I'm still here petal

Yeah you probably thought you'd heard the last from me. Goodbye Roxanne, go back to England, stop making strange jokes and drinking horrible tea. HaHA! You can't get rid of me that easily beautiful gimleites. So. Time for an update. I'm no longer an official EVS, but I would certainly argue I am still an EVS ADVOCATE. I'm here with many tips and tricks. I also still love my EVS family with all of my cold British heart.
We have now said goodbye to Sara, the fiery, cute little drawings and film loving Italian girl. She will be missed. I'm sure she will enjoy being home in Florence and all the pasta, can't really beat the food, as much as we try.
Aannd we say hello to another British lady! Tanya! What a treat, 3 people from the British Isles hanging around the Café. If you want an English language challenge, try and have a beer with two northerners and a Scotsman. Good luck lads and lassies. I am going to get super broad and incomprehensible.
In addition, the EVS have moved!!! Now to a large farmhouse out in a field. Beautiful, slightly awkward in the snow, but certainly cosy. Great garden, so bring on summertime!!! (please....god please...)
Much love and huggles, see you around and about.

As a door closes..

I'd say its about time for a new blog post, with the holidays slowly drifting away behind us and the threat of Autumnal doom over our little heads. Time to shake off the dust from the stage curtains and get rid of the strange smell lurking around the band room (JOKES! It smells great as always..). 

Not only that, but there is news afoot. Almost time for some new EVS blood. That's probably the most exciting news you've heard this summer. I'm expecting a call from Ekstra Bladet any moment.

I can give you some inside info on the EVS's, but first lets take a quiet moment to say goodbye to one delightful EVS candidate. He's from Spain. He is the no1 Shift Reporter from 2013, winning 3 times consecutively the 'Most Giggles Anyone Can Get out of a Shift Report Ever' award. He invented the classic Romesco/ham/cheese/baked in the oven with love Spansk Sandwich. And last but by no means least, he calls me Rosana. That's right folks, our beloved Diego has left the building. I know you guys see a lot of EVS come and go - but this man was a true delight. I will sorely miss his rosy winter cheeks and direct Spanish translations.

But as a door closes a window opens. Next up from the South - comes Luis - a fellow amigo of Diego's and all round lovely Spanish man. Arriving 8th of August, you all better get ready for some more Danish/English/Spanish confusion.
Then from September 1st we have a lady from the Netherlands and another from Germany. They will be replacing me and the dear Steffi. I know less about them, but this of course makes them no less important. 

I myself am coming to the end of my EVS year, however as many of you know, I am starting my Masters at a nearby university, so will not be leaving the country as of yet. No weeping please.

There may also be a new location for the EVS in the next six months. We may have to FINALLY say goodbye to the EVS house, which will be a sad occasion. But on to pastures new! Any suggestions of good places we can live in the future are welcome. The little strange box on top of the Cafe? The outdoor area at the tank? Maybe the Gimle Van could be kitted out? Let me know.

90er Fest! Beee bap bap ba dap bo

Were you born in the 80's? The 70's? even the 60's? NO?! Then you won't get this. Look away. (I allow 1990. Just.)

The 90's was a magical time. I admit, I was in my youngish years (1-10) but I was a mature child, dancing away to heavy dancy beats and singing wannabe into my callipo ice lolly microphone. Such joy.

• Of course things were a little different in Denmark. But I'm sure you all had the cool clothes. Leggings (whoo), crop tops (right on), Adidas shoes (PSYCHE!), baggy trousers (not the song), then weird flashback seventies flared trousers (why...). 

• P.S.Tight jeans were so crap back then. Skinny WHAT?! My Mum wears those!! (snigger).

•  Maybe you had Ringpops. And Push Pops. Bubbaloo anyone? 

• Where's Wally? Or maybe Hvor er Willy? (that's too rude in English, Free Willy was hilarious enough)- UPDATE - Just found out you guys called it 'Find Holger'. Holger?!

• How about Power Rangers? Yeah. The pink one should be with the red one OBVIOUSLY. 

• Walkmans. And when things got more advanced, PERSONAL CD PLAYERS (OMG). 

• "If you like it so much, then why don't you just marry it!! NOT!!!" (Some fantastic comedy moments)

• Blow up chairs. Blow up cushions with flowers inside. Blow up backpacks. Anything plastic, tacky and kind of sticky to sit on when it's warm - we wanted that in our bedroom.

• Weird bits of hair hanging down the sides of our face (probably just the girls here). Not quite a fringe, but kind of like a really crappy fringe. Hairspray/Hair gel VERY IMPORTANT.

• And last but definitely not least - the music...oooh the music.

So if you feel like reminiscing and dancing like a fool, drinking slush ice shots and 30kr cocktails (it's like inflation never happened!) come to Gimle's Natcafe on the 24th with a side ponytail and something neon. You won't be disappointed.

Plus- we have made some cool decorations for you to marvel over. I want to hear some ooohs and aaahs people.

Cafe Concert Tonight! Read all about it, roll up roll up...

Just a quick one - We have a Cafe Concert tonight and I feel like plugging it (I don't know these people, so no gains for me in particular, I just act on whims occasionally)

Søren and Emil 21:00

This is what the danes say about it: (scroll down for engelsk)

"I privaten bruger Søren og Emil masser af strøm, men når de spiller, fornægter de elekticitet. Her er der ingen højtalere der taler, mikrofoner der telefonerer eller trommemaskiner der maskerer. Søren og Emil går ind ad hoveddøren og spiller i øregangen. Du kommer ikke tættere på alting, end du gør til en koncert med denne duo.

Emil fører en kontrabas. Søren spæder til med akustisk guitar, mens han fylder rummet med en syngende lyrik. Ordene møver sig gennem æteren med rundsavsklinger på albuerne, men de gør det på ryggen af catchy melodier, som det er tilladt at synge med på.
Søren og Emil har en trænet fortid som gademusikanter på Strøget i Århus og København.

Her har halvtreds procent af forbrugersamfundets medlemmer fået tinnitus på samvittigheden, når de er gået forbi duoens toner. Det er især de færdigtegnede mesterværker i barnevognene og kendisselvbiografierne fra Bog og Ide i bæreposerne, der har givet anledning til duoens spottende bedrevidenhed.

Søren og Emil er kort sagt drevet af angst for at ende ligesom far og mor. Men måske er en konservativ kile af voksen selverkendelse ved at banke sig ind i duoens satiriske foragt? For på et tidspunkt bliver man vel også træt i armene af at save i sit eget stamtræ?"

Here is the google translation (I have highlighted the best bits if you are in a rush):

Here there is no speaker is talking microphones telephone or drum machines that mask. Soren Emil walk in the front door and playing in the ear canal. You do not come closer to everything than you do for a concert with this duo.

Emil leads a double bass. Soren primes for the acoustic guitar while he fills the room with a singing lyrics. The words often try to over the air with circular saw blades on the elbows, but they do it on the backs of catchy melodies that are allowed to sing along to...(ouch)

Soren Emil has a trained past as buskers on the street in Aarhus and Copenhagen. Here, fifty percent of the consumer society members got tinnitus on their conscience (what?!) when they have gone past the duo tones. In particular, the pre-drawn masterpieces in a pram celebrity autobiographies from the Book and Idea in the bags, which gave rise to the duo's mocking know-all attitude.

Soren Emil short, driven by fear of ending up like the father and mother. But perhaps a conservative wedge of adult self-awareness by tapping into the duo's satirical contempt? For at some point you probably also tired in the arms of cutting in his own family tree? (yeah guys, stop cutting up your family tree..)

And my translation:

'In private Søren and his pal Emil use loads of power, but when they play,they don't use electricity
We don't use fancy electronics and it is cool - they say. Emil has a double bass, Soren has an Acoustic and he sings rather nicely. You will enjoy the fact that there are clashing lyrics with catchy melodies. You can sing along if you like.

They both did some busking in KBH and Aarhus, and it made all the consumers feel sick to their stomach because of their evil consumer ways. ...Something about autobiographies I don't get... but these guys know a LOT.

They don't want to end up like parents guys, that would be weird, but they are satirical. Maybe they also have some adult self awareness? Who knows. But don't fuck with your family tree.'




ENJOY!!

Danish TV

Sorry about the delay between posts folks, I have been uber busy falling off ski lifts and making a fool out of myself on the French/Swiss slopes. I went with a whole bunch of Danes, and it was very enlightening. I particularly enjoyed the beers at 11am rule, after 2 hours of hardcore skiing. 

Now I have been mulling over this post for a while. And I realised that in DK, I like to watch CRAP TV. I know I should probably say I like to make art and paint murals, grow flowers or...(bleurgh) exercise ..but the truth is...I want to see some stupid people do stupid things and I want to get exasperated/fascinated by their actions. I want to sit and say 'Well that's bullshit' or 'Oh my god, these kids are crazy' whilst drinking tea and eating biscuits.

Don't get me wrong, I like good TV. Great British comedies and dramas and documentaries about the earth and animals and insects. Good old BBC. But, shitty TV is just mind numbingly brilliant. 

There are all sorts on Danish TV. But the English (actually - American) stuff that I can understand, is really really juicily crap. The TLC channel is one of my faves. Recently I have been viewing:

Sister Wives (En mand - fire Kone)

What a pleasure. This dude sits around on a couch with his four wives (of varying ages...I think he doesn't like it when they get old and fat) and they chat about their life with loads of children and all the trials and tribulations (finding four houses next to each other is the main issue right now).
Of course the concept sounds terrible - at first I was like, oooh what a pig, look at him with his four women. Feminism is dead, I'm going to write him an angry note etc etc.
 BUT THEN. I realised, this guy has totally shot himself in the foot, because these four 'sister wives' completely OWN this poor bastard. Haha. And he has to buy them ALL different pressies at Christmas - hahaha! Good luck with that you silly man.

Next up..
Breaking Amish

 These (supposedly) Amish guys and gals run around New York going crazy over light switches and getting angry with each other for talking about witch craft and Amish incest. They speak with a very strong southern drawl which most of my housemates can't understand (understandably) and wear funny bonnets in the 'private cam' sessions (where the TRUTH COMES OUT). In recent episodes, two of the Amish breakers decide to get married, and they have this Stag/Hen do in Atlantic city (even though the girlfriend is under 21...so she can't gamble, or drink or...do anything cool). The  a stripper comes and she gets very pissed off. GOLDEN VIEWING.

N.B. This show is just full of controversy  because I have VERY RECENTLY been told it is all acting and not real and they were all married to each other anyway ( :o ) But anyway, in spite of this, I find it very entertaining.

And last but by all means NOT LEAST is:
Long Island Medium

Well. This one really takes the biscuit. It is so incredibly crap that sometimes even I have turn it off in the middle of a 'reading'.

So it's about a 'Typical Long Island Mom', who looks a bit like a trashy Barbara Streisand, who also happens to see dead people. She tells everybody she meets (in the shop, at the car dealers, in the bakers, the butchers, the candlestick makers) about their dead relatives and all the messages she HAS to 'pass on'.

 Things I enjoy about this show:

•  Peoples facial expressions when she asks incessant questions until one happens to be correct (confused...confused...annoyed...OMG GENIUS! ITS TRUE!!)
• How every dead person just happens to have the most cheesy, cliché and nauseating messages to pass on (what about, 'Being dead is fun'? Or 'It feels so strange not to have to use a toilet'?)
• The way they add in side stories about her dog. As filler. And how she happens to see dead dogs (because 'animals have spirits too') but no ducks or parrots or dead spiders. How convenient.

So Chaps and Chapitos, maybe I have inspired you to turn on TLC. Or maybe you now want to go out and enjoy the sunshine and ignore the TV for a while. For now, I will do the latter - until the rain starts. Obvs.

Trouble and Strife (and all things nice)

If you have ever moved to another country, you will have heard about this fancy term 'culture shock' and know a bit about it. If you haven't, its about time you learned, because we as EVS have to go through this rigmarole every day.
So here is my adaptation of what some Sociologist somewhere said about it. I am also technically an (albeit only bachelors clad) Sociologist, FYI, so that wasn't a sneering introduction.


Culture Shock

WHAT?!: Culture shock is the holistic reaction to displacement from one’s familiar environment. Common symptoms of culture shock include:

Feelings of frustration, loneliness confusion, melancholy, irritability, insecurity, and helplessness (our house is awash with melancholy feeling, we often cry and fall over, then get back up and wonder where the bloody hell we are) 

Unstable temperament and hostility (say WHAT?!?! Oh no, its okay. *sobs*) 

Paranoia (*shifty look from side to side, locks front door*)

Criticism of local people, culture, and customs. (Why do Danish people eat MEAT AND POTATOES - EVERY...damn.....DAY??)

Excessive concern over drinking water, food dishes, and bedding (OKAY BUT..is there such a thing as excessive concern over drinking water? I'd say its pretty important *clutches bottle of Kildevand*) 

Fear of physical contact with locals - don't touch me!

Oversensitivity and overreaction to minor difficulties 

Changes in eating and sleeping habits 

Loss of sense of humour.

(................my sense of humour is just fine thanks. MATE.)


WHEN?!: So sometimes it's all immediate. An American tourist travelling to a developing country might be like WOOOAH - e.g. where is my McDonalds? Why don't we have a proper bed? I can't find a toilet seat for the life of me, and somebody over there doesn't use a real toothbrush etc etc. Ok, so this is not a real problem in Denmark. There is a McDonalds really close to our house. And most people use a toothbrush (or so I've heard..)


Much more common, however, is delayed culture shock. -


“Often when a person takes up residence in a foreign country there’s a period of excitement and exhilaration when everything seems new and challenging and fascinating… It is not until this honeymoon period ends that the newcomer begins to realize that there are endless subtle differences that leave him facing a host of perplexing problems.”


Cultural Adjustment


Even though it's a complex little phenomena, it's actually remarkably predictable (kind of like humans). There are some distinct phases, in a 'U-shaped curve beginning with a high, then sinking into shock, and finally recovering to understand and enjoy the new culture' (yeah alright, I couldn't be bother to paraphrase that one).


The Honeymoon Phase: After months of excitement, anticipation, and preparation, you finally arrive at your destination. Its like when you get married and your happy, but then you realise your husband is a bit of a dick (no not really...that hardly ever happens.) Everything is way exciting and special and you think it is just wondrous. Denmark is like heaven.


The Crisis Phase: In this phase, you will experience the brunt of the symptoms of culture shock. Everything becomes a bit annoying. Communicating is really difficult and you always forget things or lose stuff. This happened to me all the time (albeit not this time in Roskilde, but last time I came to DK in 2009. HOWEVER - I did lose an alarming amount of items in the first few weeks in Roskilde, but that probably has more to do with alcohol intake than culture shock. Anyway..I digress).


Frustration gives way to irritability, depression, and other symptoms of culture shock. You feel like a total outsider and you can't understand why nobody wants to kiss you on the cheek. You look for pals from similar cultures to yours so you can cheer up a bit.


The Recovery Phase: You get into a routine and the humdrum and suddenly everything isn't so weird any more. You stop tearing up Danish flags and start to put them on birthday cakes.


The Adjustment Phase: You become a 'bicultural' person. Not the same as 'bisexual', probably.

(You can read all this in much more sensible and boring terms at - http://www.uniteforsight.org/cultural-competency/module2)


So after that brillo lesson in CS I would like to tell you about some funky times when we got totally bungled about something, that Danish guys and gals probably think is really normal.

Foreigner in Netto: (hands money over)


Danish Person: You have to put it there


Foreigner: Where?


Danish Person: In the grey thing.


Foreigner: What?


Danish Person: The change counter! (sighs) Here - (takes change, puts it in the slot)


Forigner: Oh...(leaves feeling ridiculous).



Foreigner: I can't fix my bike.


Danish Person: Are you totally stupid? Bikes are really easy to fix. You just get this spanner and pull this whilst holding that then take that off then patch that up then put it back on and reattach that whilst holding this and tightening that over there - Voila!


Foreigner:...I can't fix my bike.



Foreigner: I'm going to get the deposit back on my bottles! Whoopdidoo, life is dandy (etc etc.)


*puts bottle in machine*


Danish Bottle Machine: BLEURGH (spits it out)


Foreigner: YOU DON'T LIKE COCIO BOTTLES?!


Foreigner: I met this guy four or five times. We got drunk together. We talked about LIFE. But when I hugged him yesterday, he looked like I was trying to kill his children.


Danish Person: YOU DON'T HUG SOMEBODY YOU DON'T KNOW!!


But of course, in the end, we learn all these quirky things. We can now fix a puncture super duper quick. I love the change thing in Netto (actually, that still is a bit difficult for me to understand, especially when it malfunctions.) And I only hug Danish people who hug me first.


And one day, maybe you too will be an EVS, and you will go through some mad culture shock drama. Just remember - like Michael said - you are not alone.

It Starts.

So here it is. An EVS Gimle Café blog. I'm sure all you people are just gasping to know all about us EVS - we are fascinating creatures. We spend hours in our secretive lair (aka the 'EVS House') and creep out to run a little Cafe in the heart of Roskilde - for free! (For FREE you say!? Yes 'Volunteer' means what it means. But not in a horrible kind of way. In fact the Danish 'Frivillig' is kind of self explanatory - free will ja?).

But how?! You wonder. Well, I shall tell you how my little friend.

Once upon a time the whole world was a jumbled mess of countries that had no real idea that there were many other countries all over the place. Then some rather bossy colonialists went around and starting to nab countries because they were feeling frisky. All sorts of countries popped up with all sorts of languages, but somehow, the big bitch 'Britain' was able to become a pretty big influence. And English became, a rather important language.

Luckily for me, many many years later, I was born into a small industrial town, where this so called 'English' language was the mother tongue. I just sat and ate and cried and listened to my parents pull their hair out in frustration, while slowly the language began to formulate itself in my baby mind. It was a wonderful thing. I was a talkative mite, and soon became known as 'chatty' in school (yeah, thanks cliché teacher phrases for that one). Around the rest of Europe, some other little people were learning other languages. They had no idea that one day they would be forced to learn another one, because it's 'sort of' important in this day and age.

Then one day a few years later, Europe decided it wanted to be friends with itself. It went around asking if everybody wanted to join this huge party called the 'EU'. Most people were like - uuurgh, hell yeah! Though a few were a little sceptical (hello Norway) and others decided they wanted to make their own rules (typical Brits). Somehow, despite all of our crazy cultural differences and mad languages, we came together. And the EU was born.

However, because we all had cultural differences and mad languages, there was a bit of trouble trying to get all the different cheeses to melt in the big melting pot. The EU frowned and said...hmmm. Well this is a pickle. After years of deliberating, and looking at each other saying - Hvad? Was? Quoi? ¿qué?? they developed a cunning plan. Lets send all kinds of young people abroad, so they can learn to love one another and realise that, all cultural freaky deakyness aside, we are pretty much the same people underneath it all.

The came up with a few names, and Youth in Action certainly has something to do with it, but EVS (European Voluntary Service) is basically one great idea to make us all pals. Luckily for me, the main language is always English. It is good for others too, if they want to practice. We all volunteer somewhere, and we get some pennies from the EU to help us live like regular people in the country (i.e. not starving, with a bike, and hopefully a bed to sleep on.) And it kind of works, in spite of all the culture shocks and language barriers. This, you shall learn about in my next post. 

So Goodnight Denmark, Norway, Spain, Italy, Germany, Austria and SCOTLAND!

(Cliffhanger! Whaaat..)